We want to be even-handed here, having just blogged about Men’s unskillful behavior, let’s move on to that of women!

Portland Mindfulness Therapy

“I’m too fat.”

“I’m looking old.”

“My legs look like a chicken’s.”

Mindfulness is not just being in-the-moment or paying attention. It’s also about letting go of perfectionism and doing what works, rather than what our minds tell us we have to do.  Last week I talked about men’s perfectionistic standards in sex and relationships, and picked on some men’s ridiculous search for women who are “Perfect 10’s”. But women are no less vulnerable to romantic and sexual perfectionism than men. The primary way women “do” romantic perfectionism differs from men in that, much of the time, women’s hyper-criticism is of themselves: rather than searching for a “Perfect 10,” women wish they werea “Perfect 10,” in their own eyes. It does not appear to matter so much to many women whether men think they are beautiful or sexy. Perfectionistic women have their own, often unattainable standards, and…

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